Since this was my third time giving birth, I knew what was coming. In fact, from the time I found out I was pregnant I had to not allow myself to think about the final stages of labor and healing from it, because I would begin to stress out about it. However, I also convinced myself that I would go early, it would be fast, and I would be much better at it this time. Truth: I was induced, it was my hardest labor, it wasn't fast, but I only pushed through three contractions. By the end I was exhausted and I may have yelled out a bit in exhaustion and pain (even though I know yelling is a waste of energy), but to hold my little boy in my arms made it all worth it.
I had to arrive at 5 am to get everything going and I was able to enjoy that awkward moment of someone I know getting to check me . . . But there was a shift change soon after that to someone else that we knew, but not as well. I was pretty happy to get the "crunchiest" nurse to enjoy our day with; she ended up being a good advocate for me when I disagreed to things the doctor wanted to through labor.
My contractions were pretty intense around noon, enough so that Abe was needed to rub my back through them. I was checked a bit later and I was at an 8. I was pretty excited, especially when my doctor showed up soon after because she felt like I would be pushing soon. Nope. To my disappointment I stalled at an 8 for hours. I denied upping my pitocin 2 times, then after no progress it was upped. Again, it didn't do anything but put me in more pain. (It wasn't the contraction itself but I had this weird sharp, knife like sensation off to the left side during each contraction) They wanted me to up it again, and I knew my breaking point. I said that I understood the reasoning, but I was too tired to deal with more intensity and I would need to have an epidural first. Neil showed up. He has now been the man for all 3 of my epidurals. I told him what I liked and dislike about my previous epidurals and what I was hoping to accomplish. He gave me a light dose that would wear off quickly with the anticipation of being able to push with full feeling. A lot of yelling and hand squeezing had to be done to help me hold still while it was being placed. I was quiet during my other labors, so this was new and really quite embarrassing. In fact, I watched the video that Abe took and I just feel sorry for anyone that had to witness that!
I was able to relax, catch my breath, and feel my baby descending through the contractions. My doctor agreed to let me hold off on pushing and let the baby descend on his own. About 30 minutes after the epidural was placed I couldn't hold still anymore and I knew he was close. Three contractions later he was out. This probably sounds cliche, but it was so painful. I think the exhaustion and months of pelvic pain just came to a tipping point and I was done.
As soon as the war zone was cleaned up - seriously, this new doctor of mine was up to arms in blood and it was getting tracked everywhere! - we told the boys it was time to come meet their brother. My Mom and Anne brought them in and it was so sweet. Sawyer wanted to touch, hold, and kiss right away. Crew loved seeing him but didn't want to touch him.
Baby Pepper is that third child I never thought I would be having. After my cancer diagnoses two years ago this month, and surgeries that followed, I felt like it wasn't an option to add to our family. How happy I am that those thoughts were wrong!
As unflattering as these pictures are, they are good to have when I look back. This picture shows how I feel about laboring that long, only to have an epidural. I would have gotten one at 11 if I had known I was going to stall out anyway. My doctor believes my surgeries and adhesion could have caused the stalling of progression. This makes sense and I think if I would have gotten it earlier I would have had him earlier.
So swollen from all of the bags of fluid (and weight gain) and so happy.
Because my blog is public I won't be posting any full naked pictures, but I couldn't believe how red of a baby he was! When our nurse Heidi (third time having her as well) measure our boy, she had to remeasure his head. His chest and head both ended up being 14.5 inches. He weighed 8 pounds 13 ounces, and was 20.5 inches long
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